Document recovered from Location of Interest within Temecula, California after Operation "Delivery Service" that was previously owned by the Ambrose Restaurant. This document is preserved for use by MTF Lambda-14 ("One Star Reviewers") in their continuing efforts to combat this group of interest.
Ambrose
Starters | |
Seaside Super Shrimp: Our shrimp are the largest in the city, without question! Order single shrimp of sizes 1/4 pound or 1/2 pound |
$4.90 |
West Coast Wings: Watch in delight as your serving of spicy wings literally fly out of the kitchen! |
$4.30 |
Seance Soup: Our famous blue soup can have you dining with your relatives, even if you've never seen them alive! Only one serving per person, ghost dining menu available on request. |
$4.30 |
Temecula Slider Towers: Enjoy this particular starter, and experience life without friction for the next half hour! (Ambrose is not responsible for any injuries sustained while not under the laws of friction.) |
$4.75 |
Mains | |
A Healthy Salad: It may look like a pile of warm veg, but thanks to innovations by a local anartist, it'll taste exactly like a cheeseburger! |
$8.50 |
Singularity Salmon: A large salmon dish, served with roasted potatoes and beans, that defies the laws of geometry! |
$12.30 |
Omnipotent Potato Wedges: Our deep fried wedges are superior to all other dishes, and will make that fact known! Any food placed on the plate with them will also become potato wedges! |
$9.00 |
Gangster's Grub: Become awestruck as the two halves of your meal fight for supremacy on your plate! The victor determines the flavour, never the same taste twice! |
$7.00 |
Tint Taquito: Change your hue for the duration of your meal with this delicious Mexican delight! |
$11.00 |
Barbecue fish: Carefully grilled piscomorph from one of at least three realities, depending on availability. |
$7.00 |
Conceptual Curry: This dish is the pure concept of a madras curry, zero calories, and entirely transparent! Ask your waiter to add it to another dish. |
$6.00 |
Chef's Choice: Changes weekly, ask your server! |
$9.00 |
Desserts | |
Easter Frog's Eggs: Rendered safe to eat by freezing and boiling, this delicious chocolate-like treat can be enjoyed year-round! |
$4.60 |
Midnight Cotton Candy: A dark treat, sure to tickle your insides! Exclusively available at all of our restaurants thanks to The Circus of the Disquieting, the Greatest Show in all the Worlds! |
$3.39 |
Sunside Sugar Shack: A sweet treat you're sure to enjoy, and it'll give you a sunny disposition as well! |
$5.00 |
Mango Salsa: Two fruits performing a Latin dance on your plate! Muy caliente! |
$2.50 |
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Customer Reviews: Temecula
@AirConditionedLaurie
★★★★☆
Great place to eat with a good selection of food!Good to finally have a place to eat that suits my more esoteric tastes. Great location too!
@Quarterporter
★★★★☆
I've spent a couple of enjoyable evenings here, the changing menu items are interesting, but I feel like using actual self-modifying menus would improve it a lot.
@fredazx1fn0q2rc
★★★☆☆
I didn't like the waiter's face.
@ready-to-freddie
★★★★★
The atmosphere is really down to earth, which is tricky to pull off with some of these menu items! Five stars!
@emptyjudith
★★☆☆☆
Food was good, but about half way through our meal some anophiliac ran at our table and tried to stuff his dick into our drinks.
@morecircularhome
★★★☆☆
Place was crawling with guards, I think there was some kind of incident recently? Managed to have an enjoyable enough meal, but I was constantly on edge.
@alarming_julius
★☆☆☆☆
If you ever want my custom again, you'll repair your draconian laws! If you refuse to serve me based on one unplanned incident than I will be forced to incite the Foundation upon your establishment.
@WannaJuana
★★★★★
I had a great meal with the family, everyone said their meals were excellent! I had the fish, and experienced flavors that don't exist in this world!
@cristina.the.arena
★★★★☆
There was a sale on, and the owner himself cooked for us! Only downside was the ongoing memetic outbreak in the city, but that's hardly this place's fault.…It wasn't, right?
@FastandJiving
★★★☆☆
My mouth literally will not stop watering!Seriously, how do you deal with runaway salivation?
@RhianneW-L14
★☆☆☆☆
Fuck you.