Often articles I like, I end up making lots of comments. This one, I like, but I don't have a huge amount to add.
- The tone fits nicely with the other Sarkic SCPs I've read, and I particularly enjoyed the references to Colossi.
- The character of the instances came across well in the interviews.
- I'm not hugely excited about the "insectile parasite invading the target" bit, but I can live with that in the wider context. If you came up with a different way for the mind-control, self-replication bit to operate, though, I'd be open to it.
Thereon, they will undergo growth in the host's uterus and consume organic matter around it (including one another). After a period of one year, a new SCP-# instance emerges grown to resemble humans between the ages 15 to 20. Newborn SCP-# instances retain the memories of their respective parent, and are capable of speech from birth. The death of the host does not hinder the gestation of SCP-#.
This confused me a bit. I think "Thereon" should be "Thereupon" (or just "They will then"). The "they" in the first sentence confused me in relation to "it" and "one another" at the end of that sentence. Do you mean the embryo will consume the fly and then the uterus itself? Finally, I didn't follow how a 15yo human could "emerge" from a uterus without having burst out during the process of growth - are you saying that they have the proportions of a 15 year old, but are smaller at the time they emerge?
- I didn't understand where Sleeman fit into the story. Am I missing something in another SCP? Otherwise, I think 10 words or so about who he is, when he lived and his significance would be in order.
- "But coincidence, I believe not" - this didn't quite parse for me. Is he saying he doesn't believe in coincidence generally, or that he doesn't think that this was a coincidence in particular?
- Are the Thuggee references linked to SCP-029 in any way, or is that outside this canon?
- "Below is an autopsy of it." - this felt out of tone. Perhaps "Autopsy results are set out below".
I didn't understand where Sleeman fit into the story.
Historically (as in RL), he is the leading figure in the suppression of the Thuggee. The implication is that Sleeman is associated with the Sarkicites. But yeah, I will add a footnote addressing who this is for people unwilling to Google.
"But coincidence, I believe not" - this didn't quite parse for me. Is he saying he doesn't believe in coincidence generally, or that he doesn't think that this was a coincidence in particular?
He refers to the specific case not being a coincidence.
Are the Thuggee references linked to SCP-029 in any way, or is that outside this canon?
A cheater's way is to say "outside canon". There are references to imitators, so SCP-029's cult may be another sect that copied the Children of Kali's tactics and modus operandi.
Granted, if I could incorporate SCP-029 in this… I would. If anything, 029 may well be an imitator planted into the ranks of the Children of Kali to confuse the group.
The implication is that Sleeman is associated with the Sarkicites. But yeah, I will add a footnote addressing who this is for people unwilling to Google.
Oops. I searched for him, but only on the site! Didn't think he'd be a RL person.
Okay, I *really* like this. This is a perfect syncretism of Sarkicism and Indian culture. The Sleeman connection and the secret truth behind the Thuggee are well done. I approve. The tone of Sleeman and the interviewed SCP instances were wonderful and captured the nature of Sarkicism while all the same making it yours.
I approve:) I didn't notice any issues myself but I'm not the best editor.
Special Containment Procedures Commentary:
I'm not too sure about the GOC working with The Foundation. I mean it seems like a fine (if not kinda cool cause the GOC and SCP are competing to get all the anomalies in the world) idea to do, but I think other users may say different. But it seems a little tacked on.
Strangulate the instances via cloth…that's rather violent :I
Description Commentary:
Minor nitpick: Why is it open wounds is the thing going on in this article? I don't see why it has to be open wounds. Having it only enter thru openings of the body seems like a better approach.
I must say: having that bug thing attach itself to the nervous for the SCP-# instances to manipulate you is pretty interesting and terrifying.
However, if SCP-#-A host is a female, SCP-#-A instances may deposit their respective miniature SCP-# instance in the hosts uterus.
OH GOD
I don't really like the compulsion
of females leaving the area. I think maybe having the influence of SCP-#-A to leave to non-urban areas instead of compulsion seems better since compulsion was done a lot. The females could have the urge to leave their home of residents?
Do they have him identified on some old records or something? Or is he someone that was never recorded in some documents? It kinda explains who he is on the addendums, but you could have said in the description his name and that no current documents on him exist.
Verdict vote: Strong Neutral Vote
General opinion:
Overall I think the story of this scip has a good background to it. Although I didn't quite understand it since I have small knowledge of those India related thing T^T
I liked how you changed the story from a self replicating entity to this whole story behind it. The effects of the SCP are really scary1 but I feel as though that females in the SCP universe are the most targeted (as I have seen several SCPs that do that). It's almost there for my vote, but I think some better explanation of the Hindu and India related topics should be explained a little more than just small footnotes. I think what could be explained more is why this guy is self replicating in the first place when waiting for this thing to happen…
…or it could be that he's doing it to make sure he has a higher chance of survival. Just needs a few tweaks and I think it's ready to go. I didn't really notice any errors, but not a good editor.
Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody. —Holden Caulfield
Thanks for dropping by (since my university workload prevents me from hurling this at chat). I guess I will clarify some points.
I'm not too sure about the GOC working with The Foundation.
Perhaps, but the initiative against Sarkicism is an effort between the Foundation, GOC, HI and maybe the CotBG sects. That said, it is an alliance wrought with mistrust.
I don't see why it has to be open wounds. Having it only enter thru openings of the body seems like a better approach.
Ah, I've based that bit on the myth of Raktabija (a demon that grows more of it when its blood drops). I do agree on your point, and will consider using both as possible options.
I think maybe having the influence of SCP-#-A to leave to non-urban areas instead of compulsion seems better since compulsion was done a lot.
Like mind control (or body manipulation), I can accept that.
females in the SCP universe are the most targeted
Yeah… I was thinking if males can work… but yeah, damn biology. I want it to be biologically sound.
it could be that he's doing it to make sure he has a higher chance of survival.
Bingo! That's part of its deal. A Karcist that tries to maintain pseudo-reincarnation, but ultimately loses bits of himself over generations.
Well, then you almost got my upvote. Like its so close to crossing the upvote threshold
Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody. —Holden Caulfield