There. Zalgo is technically on the SCP Foundation website. Now shut up and go away.
As for the rest of you, I hope you enjoy it. Criticize as you see fit.
Guys. It's made abundantly clear in several places around here. We do not do crossovers.
I'm strongly tempted to simply call this trolling and delete it. Someone let me know when it hits the requisite negative, please.
EDIT: You guys are right, that's an overreaction. While honesty compels me not to totally retract the statement, I do apologize.
Yoric, it's a piece of fiction. If you don't like it, downvote it and move on. Just because it's bad doesn't mean it's trolling. Hell, I hated it, but thought it was an honest effort and, well, a nice joke that needs some work.
The how to write and cliche list both have sections on not taking elements from other canons. The how to write was actually much more explicit in times past, if memory serves, but edits for clarity and tone have dumbed it down a bit.
I'll concede the point, but there's a key difference here. This is intended more to mock the whole "Zalgo and Slender Man and Cthulhu and all these others should be SCPs" thing that pops up from time to time here. What those sources are saying (based on my understanding) is not to take ideas from other places and make them into SCPs. Again, you have a point, but there's a difference.
I like crossovers. I really do! But if I were you, I would've proofread it a bit more and modified some more of the text. It's neither really good nor bad enough for me to love it.
/hipster - I was into crossovers before they were cool.
No opinion on the crossover element. Some parts were funny, others need polish. But do some proofreading, please.
I've done some proofreading, and tightened it up a little, as per your suggestions. Let me know if it needs more.
Since you ask…
New speakers get new lines.
The man behind the desk watched as the cosmic horror before him paced back and forth before him, ranting what could only be described as it's head off. "I am the ultimate hive mind.[…]
Here, the man behind the desk is the one saying he's the ultimate hive mind, because you didn't start a new paragraph at "I am". (Also, 'it's head off' should be 'its head off'. Also also, you might want to tweak that sentence, 'cause it's a little awkward.)
and you ask me to do something dangerous?" The black mass rose up, drawing on it's awesome power.
First off, capitalize 'and'. Second off, when you say 'The black mass rose up', that means the black mass was just talking, because you didn't start a new paragraph. (oh god, how did I misread that? ignore that part, since you intended for the black mass to be talking in the first place.) Also… again, 'its'.
Also, typos like 'awkard' (should be awkward) and 'baring' (should be barring, as in 'barring the fact…').
Alrighty, that's enough nitpicking for now. =]
(P.S. No points if you point out the bad grammar in my grammar advice post. ;P)
I've noticed some improper usages of it's and its. Remember, "it's" is saying "it is" and "its" is saying "something of it".
On a whole, though, I like it. It's a Foundation Tale, so I'm not expecting it to be totally super rigid like the articles. I love the bash at Warehouse 13. They would use some supar speshul way of keeping it in tact, but not after letting it run around the world a few times.
Good job.