SCP Foundation

Come and get it y'all, its the best shine in La Rue! ( It's strong as gasoline, so don't go drinkin' it like water or you'll find yo' self sleepin' on the ground ). I'm at the end of the creek headin' east of The Never 'n Not. It's gonna be the shack with the broken door out front. Ya'll be warned though. Been seein' some bodys floatin' in the creek lately, and I saw a big ass gator lumbering about. so bring you're gun with ya, and keep an eye out.

Alright y'all. I know y'all have been ignoring me cause I ain't got no shine, but I got some good news. I'm finally used to seein' with my one eye, so I was able to get my still up and runnin' again! If y'all want some, or if ya just wanna say hi, you know where I'm at. Be careful though, That big ass gator that clawed my eye out is still out there, so if ya see it… kill it dead. You'll know it when ya see it. Its one ugly looking motherfucker 'n its big as hell. Also can y'all please stop callin' me one eyed Willie. It was funny at first, but it ain't no more.

That gator came back, broke my still, 'n took my damn arm! The good one too. If it wasn't for Joe showin' up 'n offerin' to help, it would'a got the rest of me eventually too. I watched him fight the damned thing. The crazy thing thrashed like a devil, but Joe killed it dead.

Also I aint makin' shine no more because of the lack of arm, 'n a still, so don't go asking me for any unless you gonna give me a hand makin' it. Also stop calling me one armed Willie, It ain't fucking funny!

Thank you Joe.

I ain't happy with y'all one bit. I visited Willie the day before last to get some shine, and he let me know how y'all been treatin' him. The poor guy lost an arm, an eye, 'n y'all are callin' him names. Not only that, but from the looks of things, y'all have been ignorin' his gator problem too. Which I already solved by the way. So I'm here wonderin' why no one helped Willie. Cause I know none of y'all are afraid of no gator.

I went to the lads at The Never 'n Not, and they said they are gonna let Willie live in the shack out back. In exchange, Willie is gonna help build a still, so he can continue to make his shine. So head over to The Never 'n Not, say hi to Willie, and buy his shine. And if I hear one of y'all been making fun of Willie again, I'm gonna toss you in the swamp, 'n laugh at ya. If y'all think I'm jokin', then go ahead 'n ask Scratch. I already tossed his ass in the swamp.

Hey y'all, it's me. Just wanted thank everyone who helped me build the still. Im real glad that I'm closer to people now. My shine has never tasted better, so y'all should come on over to The Never 'n Not, relax a little, eat some food, 'n try some of my shine.