Lust in the Time of Anomalous Cholera
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"Hello? Little weak people, what's wrong? Oh, all doubled over in agony from a little something? Unable to guard the containment chambers while your bowels empty? Hahaha! Oh, I will get my revenge on each and every one of you, once Montezuma is done! Hm? Oh, hello, there. Nice mask."

"Hello."

"Oh my, what a lovely voice you have. I do believe I'm getting a fever. I am Vector, Madam of Malaise, Damsel of Disease. And you, my mysterious masked malcontent?"

"I... am the cure for you, baby."

"We'll see about that."

"My cure is most effective."

"Is this your doing?"

"No, they all suffer from The Disease."

"Let me guess, voëltjie, the Bubonic Plague?"

"No, crab-stuffed mushroom day at the cafeteria."

"Well, that gives us time to get to know each other, doesn't it?"

"I already know plenty about you, dear. I sense… all the diseases in you."

"Wait just a second, sweetie, I need to sample this new infection."

"Did you just lick that man's anus?"

"Best gotten at the source. And I'm going to lick more than that on you."

"You'll be at it a while. My bag is quite full."

"Oh my, your bag is so huge! Is that real [DATA EXPUNGED]?"

"The finest Corinthian [DATA EXPUNGED]."

"I must touch your bag."

"Touch all you like, my dear. But be careful, the contents may… jostle."

"Oh, when I get inside you, you'll swell in places you never expect."

"It will take more than a simple palpitation to give me the tremors. But my touch will cure your ailment."

"I carry over a thousand diseases. Do you honestly think a single touch will get my juices flowing?"

"I have a surgeon's hands, cutie, we have all night, and when I administer my cure, you will so desperately need it."

"Oh! That lovely black robe… isn't a robe, is it? You're totally naked."

"I see your glands flush and pulsate in antici… pation. I will relieve the pressure with my scalpels."

"Mmm, show me what you can do with a little sharp pain."

"I do believe I've caught your virus."

"I leave myself in your capable hands, doctor."

"This… I am afraid the constant sounds of vomit and gastric distress do ruin the mood some."

"It's not exactly Beethoven."

"Perhaps I should administer my cure to a few of these researchers, so that we could have some peace."

"Well… I've always wanted to make love under a fountain…"


"I say, doctor, you are a genius. Your zombies hold their place and let their stomachs empty in a quiet, compliant manner."

"And without your mastery of disease, we would not be able to maintain the cafeteria infection in place after I administered my cure."

"Now let us return to make love under the fountain of our own design."

"This effluvium makes a most wondrous lube."

"Uh… Excuse me?"

"What? Another doctor? Who are you?"

"They call me the Rocket Surgeon. I'm looking to fix Steely Dan."

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