SCP Foundation

Welcome to this installment of site news, where we present only the hottest articles!

This is a series showing off news from the site, articles from the past month¹, and fan-content for you to check out and discover! Be sure to leave a comment with your thoughts!

Featured Articles

• The featured articles for July were SCP-2268 ("Loaf Page") by SpectralDragon, The Battle of the Toys: The Breakroom Routing by Sad Xiao, and Project Proposal 2004-024: My Father's Values by Zolgamax. The first is about a website that burns bread, the second is about a pitched battle over the Foundation's toy chest, and the third is about a reality bender's brain on art. Check them out!

Editor's Choice Articles

• SCP-3087 ("The Owl-Car") - Round and round and round it goes. Where it goes, nobody knows… driven by Chubert. Chubert has a knack for dialogue and for taking seemingly innocuous objects to a disturbing conclusion. The Owl-Car is no different, and complements its character work with fantastically unnerving imagery. A terrific article that should be read by anyone seeking to write an exploration log.
• Project Proposals 1964-011/1974-014 - Some people make art for art's sake. Others make art for the sake of art. Documented by Moklin. In recent years, the GoI Are We Cool Yet? has received heavy criticism for a variety of reasons, chief among them being that their reasons for making art are beyond idiotic. This article is an utterly fantastic usage of the AWCY? GoI format that brings the group back to its ideal: art through anomalies. It explores two fantastically unique proposals, each with a distinct concept and voice, and combines them to form a consistent story with an interesting theme and a vivid sense of art. This article is not to be missed.
• Hartliss Detective Agency - Hartliss's new case pits him against magical criminal syndicates and ancient flesh cults. Just another day in Chicago. Written by The Great Hippo. A fantastic noir story dripping with style. The metaphors and the visuals are crunchy and vivid, the characters are pulpy without being trite, and the action is tense without being intense. Hartliss also combines two GoIs that could not be more different - the anomalous crime syndicate Chicago Spirit and the mystic flesh cult Sarkicism - and makes it work, amplifying their strengths without carrying over their weaknesses. This editor gives it two mutant thumbs up.

Event Featured Articles

The theme for the month of July was uncontained!

• In SCP-2531 ("The Pumpkin Man"), by Jonathan Whitney, there was something much worse than a worm in this fruit…
• In SCP-1879 ("Indoor Salesman"), by marslifeform, a salesman refused to let the Foundation keep him from his job…
• And in SCP-2872 ("A Fast Horse"), by Freudian, a horse was a horse of course but who rode was even more important…

Rest of the News

• Posting has begun for the Social Media Art Contest! Posting will go from July 30 to August 30. Follow the link for the rules on submitting an entry!

Missing out on articles? Enjoy a recap on the articles from the past month.

Week of July 1st:

Game on!

SCPs

• SCP-ROCKS-J ("A Pile Of Rocks That Need To Shut The Hell Up") - Talking rocks. Enough said. Written by Penton.
• SCP-3301 ("THE FOUNDATION") - A GAME BY CRYOGEN STUDIOS (A DIVISION OF DR. WONDERTAINMENT). Game design by djkaktus.
• SCP-3535 ("Casus Lignum") - Review of surveillance footage shows that all key personnel involved with monitoring and maintaining the plumbing system and SCP-3535 had unknowingly been affected by its leaves. Written by Roget.
• SCP-3357 ("Practice Makes Perfect") - Perfectionism is more damaging than this anomaly could ever be. Written by rioludoodle.
• SCP-3878 ("Words Will Never Hurt Me") - SCP-3878 is a semantic weapon developed by the Obskuracorps in 1938, derived from the study of anomalous conceptual objects retrieved from the Thule Society's expeditions into the multiverse. Written by Taffeta.
• SCP-8851-J ("Super Cheap Procedures") - Not even the Foundation is immune to budget cuts. Written by SpookyPizza.
• SCP-3995 ("Some Pretty Fishy Swimming Trunks") - What if your swimwear wanted to eat you? Written by RegularSlambo.
• SCP-3046 ("Hallucinogenic") - The structures appear to be what once was an alien metropolis, with structures resembling churches and vast expanses of housing and farmland. Written by Nekromykon.
• SCP-3602 ("The Monkey King's Legacy") - Perhaps we were better off being unintelligent. Written by Modern_Erasmus.
• SCP-3726 ("AnthropomorFic") - Write it your way. Written by Flawed.
• SCP-3088 ("Law Of The Land") - What would you do if your word became law? The right thing? Or for the right reasons? Written by Mortos.
• SCP-3057 ("Fossil Fuels") - SCP-3057 is an anomalous phenomenon by which crude oil spontaneously transforms into instances of prehistoric species. Written by The Great Hippo.
• SCP-3325 ("Live Entertainment") - Cartoons become real… and that's when things really go wrong. Animated by xFox.
• SCP-3444 ("She Took The Midnight Train Going Anywhere…") - Final destination - your broken dreams. Tickets checked by Tufto.
• SCP-3933 ("Storm of Steel") - Though a man's hands may love a woman, plow a farm, and raise a family, they will still remember the grip of the rifle. Written by Rosa Braun.

Tales

• Your Call Is Important To Us - A day in the life of customer support at Herman Fuller's Circus of the Disquieting. Written by DrChandra.
• What Dragons We Shall Be - A man explores how to bend reality to his will. Written by SunnyClockwork.
• And Then, Kit Slept - Kit may have believed that once, but now he had seen things and felt things and fucked things that no-one else knew of - written by Zachary Maxwell.
• You're a Toy, Mr. Sanderson - The Foundation continues to put profits and efficiency over the wellbeing of its employees. A tale in the Broken Masquerade, written by Cyantreuse.
• The News Tonight: Wednesday April 26th 2017 - Many of our top soldiers gave their lives this evening, passing on their blood to Rakmou-leusan, so that he may receive our blood and hold us against these retched Voruteut who attack our borders. Praise be to Rakmou-leusan. Coming to you live from LordStonefish.
• Channeling Flows - In the followup to Finding Balance, the alchemist's apprentice learns the terrible history of the discipline. Followed by Restoring Harmony, all written by DrMagnus.

Hubs

• Glittering Horizon Hub - An experimental narrative about a murder mystery spanning multiple dimensions. Written by LordStonefish.

Author's Pages

• rioludoodle's author page - Being the author page of rioludoodle!
• Researcher Edward Flawrence's Personnel File - Flawed's author page!

Week of July 8th:

YOU ARE UNDER ATTACK

SCPs

• SCP-3939 ("The World is My Canvas") - Its primary anomaly of note is the entity's tremendous and consistent speed of approximately 9500 kilometres per hour. How it achieves this speed is entirely unknown, as is the method by which it avoids damaging nearby objects, life forms or terrain when traveling. Painted by bittermixin.
• SCP-3443 ("Placeholder") - There has always been nothing of note here. Written by ProfessorAdonisCnut.
• SCP-3553 ("They All Go Into the Dark") - Don't turn out the lights. Written by Tufto.
• SCP-2576 ("Joseph and the Technicolor Dream Goat") - I taste blood and steel. YOU ARE UNDER ATTACK. (Pauses) But I will go lie down, as I desire to rest for a short time. Written by djkaktus.
• SCP-2639 ("Video Game Violence") - Mom was right when she said nothing good could come of playing violent video games… The Great Hippo will rot your brains.
• SCP-3140 ("Botanical Warfare") - TIMBERRRRRRR! Planted by 9Volt.
• SCP-3501 ("The Storyteller of Isfahan") - I am a new superstition entering the unassailable fortress of forever. Told by Tufto.
• SCP-3773 ("9,000 Lives") - The default 'form' of SCP-3773-# instances seems to be a chimeric mixture of all genetic information currently present in SCP-3773; fur will often appear to be in a patchwork pattern, eye colors are often heterochromatic, and in some cases, several tails, all functional, can appear. Written by Ihp.
• SCP-3513 ("The brain that ate itself") - Looks like something's eating away at you. What's in your mind? Written by psul.
• SCP-3612 ("The Mainlist is Out of Order; Please Try Again") - Ever wondered why we don't number SCPs sequentially? GeometryPrime has the answer.
• SCP-3963 ("I Contain Multitudes") - You don't want to know where this rabbit hole goes. Written by shaggydredlocks.
• SCP-2783 ("Silent Lamentations of a Clockwork Goddess") - A machine mind that gave his life to protect his builders, just as the Machine Goddess before him. There will always be a place in Paradise for those who gave of themselves as he did. Written by Agent MacLeod.
• SCP-3235 ("The Baba-disease") - Within 72 hours of infection, tumorous growths will form on infected subjects1, including inside bodily cavities. Tissues comprising these growths are genetically identical to that of Migs Babache, a civilian of the city of [REDACTED]. Written by xFox.
• SCP-3979 ("Will You Walk Into My Parlor?") - The powerful will always prey on the weak, no matter how much the weak struggle. The fly does not wish to enter the parlour, so the parlour comes to him. Woven by Tufto.

Tales

• The Battle of the Toys: Defense of Hive Skittles - The Fortress-Monastery of the Inward Halo chapter stood proud, in its corner of Hive Skittles, known to the locals as Blocksville. The Space Marines of the revered chapter regularly interacted with the town populace, a callback to their hallowed lineage to the Salamanders of old. Written by Sad Xiao.

GoI Formats

• UIU File: 2014-014 - Terrorists unleash a shark that eats concepts into Three Portlands. Just another day in Third Law, by LordStonefish and 9volt.
• The Skylarking Gala - The Black Queens check out an anomalous rock concert. Fronted by Decibelles.

Author's Pages

• Modern_Erasmus' Author Page - Being the author page of Modern_Erasmus!

Week of July 15th:

Hello blackness my old friend…

SCPs

• SCP-3959 ("The End of All Knowledge") - Knowledge is power. The Foundation has been rendered powerless. Written by Billith.
• SCP-3702 ("I Walk Through The Desert, And I Have No Name") - I walk through endless sands, without food, water, or tongue. None shall help me. Written by DrBleep.
• SCP-287 ("Clark's Third Favorite Sword") - Whosoever holds this sword, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor! Wielded by DrMagnus.
• SCP-3864 ("I've Been Framed!") - Dorian Grey wishes he had this painting. Written by taylor_itkin.
• SCP-3071 ("To Deny Sense") - The Beast is upon you. Written by Nekromykon.
• SCP-3051 ("Revenge of the Human Rights Lobbyists") - Is that what you think we're doing? Turning people into puppets with magic compulsion? We're a human rights NGO, not a bad horror film. Written by Modern_Erasmus.
• SCP-41-D3N7E-J ("Lotsa Pasta") - Ravioli, ravioli, please shut up and leave me alone-i. Written by trennerdios.
• SCP-3470 ("Harry Potter's Revenge") - It prowls the woods. It craves human flesh. And its engine is rated at over 900 cc. Driven by A Random Day.
• SCP-3574 ("Lambs to the Slaughter") - They are the problem. We are the solution. You are the lamb executioner. Written by xFox.
• SCP-3478 ("A human shaped hole to the meat dimension") - It's easier to warp spacetime than it is to make bug spray. Written by Lex1nat0r.
• SCP-3049 ("To Make an Apple Pie from Scratch") - The Universe began with nothing, and will end with a delicious fruit-based pastry. Baked by rioludoodle.
• SCP-2694 ("These Old Bones") - SCP-2694 is an animated mass of objects currently in the shape of a Basset Hound (Canis lupus familiaris). The body is primarily composed of parts of stuffed animals, chew toys and children's toys. Written by Blaroth.

Tales

• No Safe Haven - The story of Stuart Hayward's childhood. Set in the Pitch Haven, by Fantem.
• The Reason Ulysses Doesn't Start With WARNING: IT'S GOT A BLOWJOB IN IT - hetcopogg: seriously what's the context here you can't just say "someone drew a horny human girl version of my dog" and just leave it out there. Written by Communism will win.
• A Life that Was Simple - Yaldabaoth just wants to return the world to a primordial chaos. Why won't others leave him be? Written by SunnyClockwork.
• The Undoing - A trailer for the murder mystery of a lifetime. Part of the Glittering Horizon, written by LordStonefish.
• The Long Goodbye - In the sequel to Hartliss Detective Agency, the intrepid private-eye pays a visit to the Baba Yaga of the South Side, but she isn't the only monster on the prowl. Written by The Great Hippo.

GOI Formats

• Sounds of Silver - The Black Queens scramble to prevent an eldritch earworm from turning their worlds into pop-obsessed zombies. Ghostwritten by Taffeta.

Author's Pages

• xFox Author Page - Being the author page of xFox!

Week of July 22nd:

VROOM VROOM

SCPs

• SCP-3666 ("Repairing the Mask") - How far will the Foundation go to ensure containment? Written by SpookyPizza.
• SCP-????-J ("Some fucking thing in a box") - The thing is locked tighter than Clef's butthole. Sealed by Billith.
• SCP-930-J ("You little rascal!") - SCP-930-J is a cute little ball of assorted tentacles and mouths, isn't it? I named it Daniel! Written by Decibelles.
• SCP-3059 ("Infictious Self-Insert") - Once a book has absorbed enough of SCP-3059, Sam Micheals will appear within the text, with their importance within the text being dependent on how much of SCP-3059 the text was able to absorb. Written by Varaxous.
• SCP-3252 ("The Permian-Triassic Extinction Event") - As far as the Foundation can determine, this period of time did not exist. Excavated by Rookierookie.
• SCP-3722 ("The City That Was Half the World") - Beginning at sunrise, and finishing at sunset, the entire structure and layout of the city metamorphosises into a near-identical copy of itself from an earlier point in its history. Written by Tufto.
• SCP-3839 ("Liposlugtion: 2 Fat 2 Furious") - FEED ME. Written by Weryllium.
• SCP-3313 ("Poor Richard") - Benjamin Franklin's anomalous penis. Enough said. Written by Doctor Cimmerian.
• SCP-437 ("Summer of '91") - If you put your ear up to the bark, you can hear them scream. Written by The Great Hippo.
• SCP-3056 ("Fireflu") - SCP-3056 was discovered in ██/██/1998, following several accounts regarding "fire-breathing humans" in [REDACTED], Japan. Written by Rigen.
• SCP-3070 ("Highly Unusual Attempts at Solar Conquest") - A species that adapts to new environments is a species that survives. Even if the environments are asteroids. Written by 9Volt.
• SCP-3560 ("All Robots go to Limbo") - As it turns out, there's a robot purgatory. And they want to share it with you. Written by Jacob Conwell.
• SCP-3737 ("Rainbow Bridge") - Your pet didn't go to the farm. It went here. Written by Pecan.
• SCP-3418 ("Devourer of Flames") - In contrast to the comprehensive cell death in all other tissues, the central nervous system of SCP-3418-1 remain alive and fully functional despite lack of oxygen and vital nutrients, and is capable of surviving indefinitely. Written by Anborough.
• SCP-3097 ("A Game of Fetch") - When you give a dog a bone… Thrown by Penton.
• SCP-3338 ("Otamatone wants to be your roommate~") - Hey, at least they pay their rent on time. Written by Zyn.
• SCP-3635 ("The Forgotten Archive") - Not me, you twat, the other me. That me lived off the farm since we were born. I don't think I ever gone more than a few miles from it. Written by YossiLeiner.

Tales

• All That I Am - What is more important: a leader or the idea of a leader? Written by Cyantreuse.
• In the Garden - A Foundation raid in another world. Written by The Great Hippo.
• I Care Because You Do - A Karcist asks a Mekhanite for help with a murder investigation. With that, Blood Red Summer is underway. The sequel is Crossing the Frame, all written by Taffeta.
• Autoerotic Assassination - I was the least risky choice for possessing SCP-173 to see whether or not the Foundation can put it to use as an effective assassination tool in a highly classified weapons testing program. Written by A Random Day.
• Triskaidekaphobia - You are meeting O5-13, which is Death. Written by Chubert.
• The Glorious and Everlasting Victory of Pablo Foxenflower over the Traitor Lazarus Wyrm. Inventing scapegoats is hard work. Written by Bennings.
• Welcome to History - Before we begin, I would like to ask you to turn off your personal reality devices, or set them to Baseline Mode. Thaumiel Mode for those possessing reality-altering abilities and/or magical talents. Written by SunnyClockwork.
• Where Have You Been All My Life - Marion Wheeler's home is invaded by a stranger. The man claims to be her husband. The second part of Five Five Five Five Five, by qntm.
• Bumaro and Ion sat at a table - Marriage counseling. Written by SunnyClockwork.
• Interview PH-SC-TAN-45-1903 - Sarah Crowley learned to fight to the death at a young age. An entry into the Pitch Haven, written by Fantem.
• Kit's Bloomin' Adventure - Kit gets laid in the sequel to And Then, Kit Slept. Written by Zachary Maxwell.

GOI Formats

• Intro - Note: Charles Ogden Gears - Nobody is on the hunt for the cog in the machine. The newest entry to The Man Who Wasn't There canon, by Decibelles.
• Roc Series Deicide Drone, Prototype Model - The Global Occult Coalition hires Anderson Robotics to build a robot to kill gods. Written by Dr0Shadow.

Hubs

• Blood Red Summer Hub - A dead Black Queen in the city of Alagadda sets off a universe-spanning noir mystery. Written by Taffeta.
• The Thing That Randomini Is Making Me Do - Presumably because his family was taken hostage, djkaktus hosted these "podcasts" by Randomini!

Author's Pages

• Dr. Roth's Personnel File - Blaroth's author page!
• bittermixin's snazzy author page - Being the (snazzy) author page of bittermixin!

Fandom Stuff

• So much KaktusKast!
• In Episode 24: ArtKast, host djkaktus sits down with three of the wiki's most popular artists to talk shop and rank the admins on sexiness; in Episode 25: 3000Kast, he sits down with Joreth and A Random Day to talk about the SCP-3000 contest, Anantashesha, and the structural integrity of his butthole; and in Episode 26: Chubertkast he sits down with the eponymous Chubert to discuss critical analysis and Poopstick McGee! You can listen to and download all the podcasts from [www.djkakt.us], and be sure to send in questions for Kaktus and his guests to answer with this easy-to-use contact form!
• The Social Commentary Podcast is out, with two (2) episodes about the social aspect of the wiki and its community! In the first one, host ghostchibi sits down with Tuomey Tombstone to discuss the community's sordid history, and in the second, sits down with LordStonefish to discuss the wiki his articles!
• Critical Procedures is finally out, with two spicy episodes of Foundation site members playing a role-playing game in the vein of The Adventure Zone! In the first episode, we meet the gang as they clash with an undead deer; and in the second, the gang investigates a mysterious mine connected to a disappearing horse statue!

Fanart

• Check out some of the submissions for the Social Media Art Contest! Some standouts include this depiction of the CotBG by Zhange; these photographs of various SCPs compiled by a team led by MC_Kejml; to one man's battle with his own mind depicted by DrJohannes.
• Also be sure to check out the fanart submitted to the Official SCP Tumblr!

Thanks for tuning in again, folks! If you're unsatisfied with the blurb(s) provided for the article(s) you wrote, feel free to change it. Of course, you could just avoid that problem entirely by sending A Random Day a blurb for your article. We may or may not use it (if we can think of something more attention-getting, though we can try to stick with one you give us) but we'd really would just like them in order to make the process easier for making these. This is a community thing, and we want authors to give their blurbs to sell these articles much easier. It reduces the workload we have to do, and helps the news come out that much earlier!