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Info
The Stuff Industry Hub
Thank you. I love you.
Author:
AndarielHalo
Eat more of my SCPs. Eat them all.
Also please eat some of these
- Anabasis Hub Probably the greatest story involving a pair of redheaded siblings whose infighting causes the end of the world
- Manna Charitable Foundation 2000 The sequel to the above, collaborationed with
Dr Reach
- The Stuff Industry What happens when everyone around you at work is a complete idiot and so are you, but not only does no one get fired, but you actually turn a profit? I don't know, some stuff.
- When MCF and Stuff happen A fun story of incompetence
From the Office of CEO Petter Vangen
New Hires
Old Hires
Mr. Qian, Ms. Chevalier, Mr. Tobe, Mr. Fateh Khan, Mr. Ali Singh Khan, Mr. Wiesz, Mr. Fjordsson, Mr. Black, Mr. White
Welcome to The Stuff Industry!
Welcome, new hires, to The Stuff Industry! You have begun now journey into a phantasmagoric working environment in which your employee status does not mean you are not friend and family of The Stuff Industry! As small business, your hours can flex, and we can flex to accommodate YOU because The Stuff Industry cannot function without YOU!
As a new hire, listing is what expected of you:
* Have great working environment attitude
* Openness to working on others and accepting valuable review
* Love of people
* Desire for dynamism with co-workers
* Sharp mind and open heart
* Desire for synergistic cooperating with co-workers
* Love of life
* Open mind and sharp heart
We deal in things here that cannot be explained with simple languages. You may see some things unexplainable. THIS IS normally placed! What we do is good for people, and much people will be effect by our product. This is exciting potential for all our client and employee. You will never have experience of such dynamic and friendship anywhere else, I can guarantee.
As CEO I am normally very engaged in office working, but when lunch hour, I can be there with cafeteria people and enjoy your company and conversation. I am very good in history and business and synergy requirements. No one else will have boss on such personal level with all level of employee business managing. We keep cafeteria very clean and stocked with food for lunching. If YOU are not enjoyment from the food, I am not enjoyment. We will fix it if needing to fix.
Remember first rule of war YOU DO WHAT YOU ASK YOUR MEN (and womans) TO DO. Nothing done here will be of outrage or delirium beyond you're ability or mine. We bring upwards together for great future dynamism. We fail only if together. Otherwise, we are fine. I love you all.
_
Petter Vangen, CEO
THE STUFF INDUSTRY
To boared: Please see attached memo for delivering to new hires. I make personalized, but I don't have to sign all of them. I will make signature in MSPAINT and we can copy it on new forms for new hires so it look good and formal ;)
ps I make company logo and scan, but I want it made pretty for official use, not my silly crayon drawing.
- Petter Vangen
Also please attach make clear the following new products fit for produce whether it is done or requiring more to it.
- Sometimes you only have so much to say. Why waste precious two-sided paper when you can buy only what you need? This "Magic Paper", patent pending, is available at a fraction of the cost of normal paper, and allows you to use only as much as you need, no waste! As an added bonus, you can use the other side as storage space if your desk is too messy!
- Pain in your neck? Go to a doctor; it's a thyroid issue. Go to another doctor; it's just cramps. Go to another doctor; IT'S CANCER. Can't get a straight diagnosis for your problem? Solve it all at once. This is the sort of thing that changes the world, if only the world would let us. Due to limited supplies, it is not recommended for being used too much. As well, testing has yielded unusual side effects, so schedule an appointment with our company doctors before deciding on our product. We're going to make it through this, I promise you.
SAS4414-Smith Jim, the Most Metal
- The future is yesterday! Now you can have a friendly robot friend of your own! Friends always do things for their friends, don't they? Now Smith Jim will reward your friendship the best way he knows how — by giving invaluable life advice, and the free option to process any sort of metal object into finer metal object. Lead to gold? Not quite, but you will finally be able to make something useful of all that worthless stuff you've got in your basement!
Please be sure for letting me know.
From: Tobes - 2011
INCIDENT REPORTS
- No confirmation as to whether this was our people. Guys, we can't have this kind of shit happening, especially in active work areas. We're shutting down operations in 19 because of this. Everyone in 14, 15, 22, 91, and 102 be prepared to pull out at a moment's notice.
To: Stuff Board
From: PGT_Chev2000@.net
CC:
Subject: Heads upHeads up, guys, we've gotten some people looking in to our time at "Stuff" Industry. It's been almost a decade, so it's probably not a problem, but if any of you have got some unpleasant things to be dug up from your time under Vangen, watch out, some moron calling herself "Dodger" is asking a whole lot of questions about the business. Most likely she's harmless, but I've done some research into the group she works for, and it sounds like they're all in the "know", if you get what I mean.
See you all on the other side
Paget Chevalier 11/19/99First sighting
Second sighting
Third sighting
Fourth sighting
