If the page you are on "looks fine," it is most likely (but not certainly) because its theme is overriding the SCP Wiki's default Sigma-10 theme. If you were to then navigate to a Sigma-10 page, such as the Front Page, it would likely appear broken.
Alternatively, if you know for sure that Sigma-10 is loading, the error is most likely mistakenly appearing because you switched the Sigma-10 theme to a different theme using the ThemePreviewer module or another similar feature. If this is the case, and you are the author of the page, add the following code to it to remove the warning:
[[module css]]
#top-bar .ios-cache-issue-notification {
display: none !important;
}
[[/module]]
SCP by Series
Other SCP
Feed
Stories
Discovery
Random
Summary deletions result for:
SCP-3902 is a 11 x 7.3 x 3.5-inch Cassette Player. The cassette player has a small plastic protection layer at the top which can be opened, and where a certain tape can be placed and played, but cassette cannot play other tapes except for the one, a red tape with the words “Play Me” written in black sharpie on it. There are four buttons on the front of the cassette player, a play button, a pause, a fast forward, and a rewind. These buttons do not work. A small speaker is found on the front of the cassette, but it does not work. An audio jack is found on the bottom of the cassette, which that is the only way audio can be transferred, if a pair of headphones are plugged in. Any speakers, or devices that play out loud do not work with the cassette.
Deleted at -19 and three votes.
SCP-3991 is a humanoid creature with black skin standing at around 7 meters tall. It has four horns measuring about 90 cm on his head as well as a tail measuring about 1.5 meters. SCP-3991 is very hostile though slightly submitive. Due to change in the behaviour of certain SCPs when SCP-3911 was brought into captivity, (refer to addendum 3991-02), the foundation believes that SCP-3911 is the Scarlet King.
Deleted at -32 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
This article suffers heavily, as it is literally just a description of a super-dangerous killing evil thing. Writing about something overpowered to this level is difficult. The tone is bad, and the you make multiple errors such as referring to the object as "he", and writing from the direct perspective of the foundation (such as using "we"). Articles need a form of story to interest and impact readers, or at least a decent reason for them to care. Here, you describe a powerful monster and then shove emotional pain in the reader's face, which does NOT work. I recommend you read successful new pages from Series IV, such as these, before you think about writing your own. -1
SCP-3991 is a humanoid creature with red skin standing at around 7 meters tall. It has two horns measuring about 90 cm on his head as well as a tail measuring about. 1.5 meters.
[…]
Due to change in the behaviour of certain SCPs when SCP-3911 was brought into captivity, (refer to addendum 3991-02), we believe that SCP-3911 is the Scarlet King
And this was the moment I downvoted. I'm not sure what the Scarlet King actually is, but I'm fairly certain that "standard devil lookalike" is not it.
The thing about writing up things like the Pattern Screamers or the Scarlet King as SCPs is that they need a certain level of uniqueness. They're entities that have been built up in various headcanon, and if you can't meet those expectations, it'll be seen as a disappointment or disservice.
I'd have imagined the Scarlet King as a metaphysical entity of entropy (which is both sapient and nonsapient), as it relates to living creatures, and is sustained so long as life exists in some form. Entropy is inherent to life, from the aging process to a cow eating grass to sustain itself, so the Foundation cannot hope to directly contain it without a drastic restructuring of what life itself is, and is therefore trying to simply slow its machinations, or the machinations of those who worship it. It's called the "Scarlet King" due to an early misunderstanding of entropy as war and bloodshed (which, admittedly, are more obvious forms of entropy as it applies to life).
Now, if your SCP can't compete in scope/scale with what I put down as the Scarlet King (which it doesn't), I'm downvoting. Other people will have other ideas of what the Scarlet King is, and they'll downvote as well if not sufficiently impressed by what you use.
1. Extreme strength, able to lift entire dimensions.
How? Assuming you mean "alternate universes", he'd need to stand on something that wouldn't move and hold his weight and the weight of the universe for tgis to happen. Otherwise, it'd be like doing a handstand on Earth and claiming you're lifting Earth over your head.
2. Extreme speed. Able to escape the gravitational force of a supermassive black hole.
Teeechnically false, as you can't escape a black hole because gravity has been warped to such a degree that the only way out literally lies in the past.
3. Size manipulation and elasticity. Able to expand and stretch their body to infinite sizes and lengths.
How was this determined? You can't measure "infinity".
4. The abilities of every SCP contained.
Aside from the fact that this is OP, there are cases where this simply would not work. For instance, just about every extradimensional and location-based SCP. The Anderson Robotics SCP, which deals with a literal robot afterlife, and the one where the entirety of the Foundationverse is literally the dreams of a normal girl come to mind.
5. Unable to be killed by anything except itself.
This would be hard to prove by default, and the Foundation doesn't usually go around trying to destroy things. After all, if you successfully destroy a SCP, you can no longer do research on it, and it may be the only one of its kind in existence.
SCP-3134 is a small gray substance that has the same consistency as slime, it is harmless. it is harmful. SCP-3134 was found at ████████, New York on 04/15/19██, and was recovered by █ Mobile Task Forces. Any and all personnel that enters "Cell 3134" are to get permission from 3 O5 Personnel. SCP-3134 is impossible to have any type of photograph taken of it, as it will not be visible in the photo. SCP-3134 has a "mind control" ability that affects all personnel within a 5-meter radius, once the mind control starts in a person, they will begin 5 stages.
Deleted at -25 and three votes.
Here we go:
This seems like an excuse for not having a picture and a particually lazy one at that. It really wouldn't be hard to get a picture of slime but if you don't want a picture, you don't have to explain why there isn't one.
Get feedback from the forums or IRC chat before posting.
Regarding the topic of this article, I think it's in incredibly poor taste. Suicide is a controversial topic at the best of times, and while it can be used to very good effect, having a slime that "does suicide" to people shows an upsettingly poor understanding of the nuances of the situation. I'd downvote for that alone: the poor grammar, unclinical tone, suspension-of-disbelief-breaking researcher notes, and lack of any sort of narrative only serve to reinforce my initial choice.
SCP-3190 is to be kept on a 2mb external stick. This stick should be kept away from any sort of technology that contains a motherboard within a 100 meter radius in a smash proof glass chamber. SCP-3190 should be handled with precaution. any personal working with SCP-3190 should be fully stripped of technology in precaution of infection of the "xD".If scientist happen to engage with SCP-3190 for research purposes then any technology devices in a 100 meter radius needs to be decomposed with immediately.If SCP-3190 should be breached, then the facility network should be shut down immediately until SCP-3190 can be placed onto the memory stick and be contained.
Deleted at -17 and three votes.
SCP-3842 is the language used by organisms of the Infraorder cetacea1. SCP-3842-1 is a non-anomalous program capable of translating noises made by cetaceans into a form understandable to humans. Cetacean communication commonly consists of squeaks, chirps, and groans; however, research conducted by Dr. ███████ has concluded that cetaceans use SCP-3842 to project three dimensional images capable of being perceived only by other cetaceans via a special form of biosonar. SCP-3842-1 interprets these sounds via sonar and compiles images of what is being communicated.
Deleted at -10 and three votes.
SCP-3626 summarily deleted for being a troll page. tretter does not match any existing user name witnessing.
SCP-3654 deleted by ProcyonLotor after improper self-delete by author, I witnessed.
SCP-3628 are a pair of unisex, rubber gloves, spanning exactly 6 cm from the middle finger to the wrist and 5 cm from the thumb to the pinkie finger. SCP-3628 generates an alluring sound, causing an immense amount of dopamine to be released into the brain on first contact but only when sentient organisms are present in the "not-safe" area, -19 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
You have a single paragraph here that's 400 words long. I think this one needed more work.
Definitely be sure to elaborate on Addendum B. It could be very useful for the article.
Don't take it personally when your article doesn't do well; the votes are based on what's in the article, not on you as a human being or member of the site.
This particular article is formatted incorrectly in ways that make it clear at a glance that it wasn't fully taken through the brainstorming-drafting-revision process we have in our forums; many users will instantly downvote because of that, as it suggests that not much effort was put into the article.
It doesn't mean you or your writing aren't welcome - almost all the active authors here have had to delete and/or rewrite finished articles, myself included. It just means that you should follow all the steps, make use of the advice you're given, and most of all take your time developing things to make them as good as they can be before declaring them finished by posting them.
—-
The forum crit team makes sure every draft gets at least one response, but it's on you to go looking for more. You can send PMs through your wikidot account at the top of the page, but it's by far better and faster to use IRC chat, which you can find by clicking "chat with us" in the sidebar. Your best bet is to keep seeking feedback and working on your article until you have people telling you that it's ready. That process takes time and effort - you really have to put yourself out there - but it's the only way to get the kind of help you're looking for. People aren't going to just come to you with it.
By the way, to change or add something to a post you already made, click "options" then "edit" underneath the post rather than replying to yourself.
No one is under any obligation to tell you what you did wrong. You should have waited longer than a day for feedback on your draft and used the correct formatting templates that are clearly available in the guides. In the future, please have more patience before posting an article.
I meant on sandbox and the drafts and critics.
Probably because you messed up repeatedly attempting to use the forums and didn't seem to fix the mistakes. Slow down, take a look at how other people use the forums correctly, and follow their lead and remember to be polite. No one here gets paid for their work and everything is done on a volunteer basis; the more you demand
but it would be nice, and I left it for 2-3 days and no one gave criticism or feedback, but I knew people have looked at the page because of the watchers.
No one gives feedback on sandbox pages unless the author asks for it in the forums and/or chat. There are thousands of sandbox pages in existence anyway.
And I also tried to put it in drafts and critics forum and got 1 feedback comment. So I thought it was good enough to put on the site
No news does not mean good news. No news means no news.
Since the PM system is down, I'll leave the usual courtesy message here:
The source text for the most recent version for your records is below. Feel free to edit the code in a sandbox page and post a revised version to the site when you've gotten feedback on a suitably-edited draft.
[[>]]
[[module rate]]
[[/>]]
**Item #:** SCP-3628
**Object Class:** Euclid
**Special Containment Procedures:** SCP-3628 must be kept in a soundproof 30x30 centimetre stainless steel crate at all times unless testing. At least 2 researchers, 2 security guards and 1 MTF present on site at all times. Weekly checks for any dents, cracks or corrosion must be immediately reported to onsite personnel. SCP-3682-1 must be terminated after testing by gassing or firearms.
**Description:** SCP-3628 are a pair of unisex, rubber gloves, spanning exactly 6 cm from the middle finger to the wrist and 5 cm from the thumb to the pinkie finger. SCP-3628 generates an alluring sound, causing an immense amount of dopamine to be released into the brain on first contact but only when sentient organisms are present in the "not-safe" area. When subject hears the sound SCP-3628 produces, subject become hypnotized almost instantly, Because of this, SCP-3628 must be kept in a soundproof enclosure and only Class D personnel are permitted to enter the “not-safe" (the maximum range of SCP-3628's sound range) for testing purposes area, unless staff personnel wear ear protection over NRR 48 DB or higher(The DB level of this is higher than the DB level that SCP-3628 produces).
When sound is produced subjects have a powerful urch to put the gloves on. See [http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-035 SCP-035] for more information about this hypnotizing. Subjects that have been manually dragged away from SCP-3628 have described the sound as being a low pitched humming sound, comparable to a petrol fueled generator. Once subjects have been dragged from SCP-3628 describe feeling emptiness and depression ,similar to the feeling of losing a loved one. Once subjects have put SCP-3628 on (and hence will be known as SCP-3628-1)they collapse within 3-5 seconds. All attempts to monitor SCP-3628-1's blood pressure , heart rate, etc have failed because of the machine’s malfunctioning and corroding in a matter of seconds to minutes and is proven to be because of SCP-3628's sound.
SCP-3628-1 will regain consciousness after 24 hours and will lose all human functions including but not limited to: speech, walking, eating, drinking, body language, etc But SCP-3628-1 is still able to crawl at a speed of approximately 1.6MP/H. Once subjects require consciousness SCP-3628 slowly begins to shrink, cutting off blood circulation until hands are rotten. Any attempt to remove SCP-3628 have failed. Once SCP-3628-1 hands have rotten there body will slowly start to decompose, we still do not know exactly when this process is triggered because all instances have varied times.
On █/█/78. SCP-3628 was discovered in [REDACTED], at a junkyard. Subject(who will soon become SCP-3628-1) was an employee that worked for the junkyard. The body was discovered 8-12 hours later, flesh decomposing and hands completely rotten away. The corpse was found by fellow staff of SCP-3628-1. They were later administered Class-A amnesics. SCP-3628 was reallocated to site-██.
**Addendum #1**
SCP-3628-1 attempted to breach containment on █/█/█3. Onsite personnel apprehended and terminated SCP-3628-1 immediately and personnel carried SCP-3628 while being protected by sound cancelling earmuffs
**Addendum #2** SCP-3628 is thought to be some how linked with [http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-035 SCP-035] because of the nature of both the items "hypnotizing" there next prey. But they use different ways of executing the process, with SCP-3628 hynotizing with audio rather than brain waves, but still, the theory remains, and could eventually lead to a break through in both SCP's if done right and there is a connection in the first place.SCP-3124 is a shape-changer entity, always basing itself in the form of ancient Greek mythology gods. Personnel have reported electrical energy, intense lighting and different voices coming from SCP-3124 shape manifestations.
Deleted at -17 and three votes.
SCP-3204 was Discovered in [Redacted] by John [] (Died on Contact) on, [Data Expunged]
the organism is about one micron in size, and is An EXTREMLY Virulent Form of the Flu it Can mutate very EASILY And, is one of the more
dangerous SCP's in the facility, Reasechers are not allowed to enter SCP-3204's Contaiment Facilty without Explicit permission From 3 Class B Personal or [Data Redacted] or 1 A Class Personal. Anyone who Has Entered Will be Terminated Immediately Unless They Have Signed Permissions.
Deleted at -18 and three votes.
Incidences of SCP-3135-2 are birthmarks placed on the lower back neck of SCP-3135-2 instances depicting a chain. It is believed that the birthmarks are not the cause of the anomalous effects but instead correlated. SCP-3135-1 and -2 are indistinguishable from humans. When an SCP-3135-1 instance reaches the age of 18, they develop obsessions with eagles and fitness, as well as a desire for extreme violence, often leading to the termination of near relatives. SCP-3135-1 possesses an incredible ability to avoid capture, making detainment in this state difficult. When mature instances of SCP-3135-2 began acting dramatically different extreme insomnia begins developing as well as pyromania. In the next phase, Both SCP-3135-1 and -2 become more withdrawn, with SCP-3135-1 hunting -2, and SCP-3135-2 starting fires to evade humanoids. This behavior will continue until SCP-3135-2 is terminated. (See Incident Report-3135-A and Interview Log I-3135).
Deleted at -16 and three votes.
SCP-3127 is a virus that comes with mental and physical symptoms. Personnel who were exposed to SCP-3127 will receive flu-like symptoms for 20 minutes. After the 20 minutes, personnel will receive symptoms that are described as; 'squishing their breasts'. Personnel will experience 'squishing' their upper body around the nipples. Personnel then will continue screaming 'TITS ARE SQUISHY AND JUICY!' for hours upon hours. As of now, there is no available cure to SCP-3127.
Deleted at -34 and four votes.
SCP-3844 is a 91 x 5 x 5 cm square bar of unknown material. SCP-3844 is completely invisible, and cannot be seen under any form of light, though can be coated in order to reveal the shape of the bar. No permenant way of making SCP-3844 has been found as of yet, as any attempts to paint the bar will result in the paint running off of it fully within 1-2 hours, as well as any other form of adhesive. Any attempts to obtain samples of SCP-3844 have also failed, as drilling or cutting seems to have no affect on the material.
Deleted at -22 and four votes.
Item SCP-3244 is a pitch black small creature that can move extremely fast and stealthily, it kills its prey by first jumping on their head unnoticed, then it puts SCP-3244-1 (a tiny creature that looks similar to scp-3244 that latches onto the brain and will explode after time) in their ears and then jumps off. If the prey knows about SCP-3244 following them (and knows what it is) they will look down, the reason why they will is that SCP-3244 won't jump on a humans head when looking down, the reason why is still not known. Item SCP-3244 won't jump on any animals head, we are researching on why. It is capable of speech through an SCP-3244-2, but it is limited to the time it has between when it has control of SCP-3244-2 and when their ears explode from the inside, even though it takes years before it has control it has limited time of control.
Deleted at -20 and three votes.
SCP-3940 is an anomalous event that has occurred 2 times in recorded history. When this event occurs, a message is displayed on a specific Television channel at a specific minute on the Alpha Repertory Television Service. This message has the ability to send a person into a state of hypnosis, almost locked to the screen, and doing whatever directions SCP-3940 tells the viewers to do. For example, if the message occurs on channel 58 at 03:32:16 AM EST, only Televisions that were on the channel at that time and the viewers are affected. If a person were to switch to channel 58 at 03:32:17 AM EST, they would not be affected by the message, and the program would occur as if nothing was happening.
Deleted at -20 and three votes.
SCP-3991 summarily deleted by me for being a completely blank page with no content whatsoever. Witnessed by WrongJohnSilver.
SCP 231 7 summarily deleted by me for being an unfinished article with a (now removed) pornographic image. Witnessed by Quikngruvn.
SCP-3818 is a Caucasian male, 23 years of age, standing approximately 1.9 meters tall. SCP-3818 is outfitted in Jeans manufactured by █████ along with a Grey V-Neck T-shirt manufactured by ██████. SCP-3818 has the ability to seemingly manipulate the world in order to accomplish anything that it wishes. Originally, this was thought to be done purposefully, but upon interviews with SCP-3818, it is revealed that it has no knowledge of its ability, -22 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
I have a sneaking suspicion that this is meant to be a meta-article of some sort - unfortunately, it's falling flat because of how straight it's played. The mainlist title is the only hint that there's something bigger going on; there's no subversion, hidden elements, or deconstruction occurring to justify the article's main conceit. As a result, it comes off as what it's meant to be a comment on - a boring article about an overpowered white male.
Consider putting the basic concept through a round in the Ideas and Brainstorming forum first, so you can hash out some of the structure/narrative details before going into the draft process.
SCP-3608 is a elderly female of Middle Eastern descent with a large central eye in the centre of their forehead on closer inspection there are various engravings around this central eye. The entity reports that their central eye is a “window to the past” causing SCP-3608 to know much about the history of Sarkicism and in some cases MEKHANE and Daevian culture, this information is critical to the foundation and the entity is a key source of information on Sarkicism, MEKHANE and Daevian cultures, -21 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
This definitely would have benefited from a round of conceptualization in the Ideas and Brainstorming forum, as well as the usual circuit through Drafts and Critiques.
From the start of the containment, there are several issues that, combined, make for a quick downvote from me:
SCP-3608 is not allowed any verbal or visual contact with any members of Sarkicism it is also strongly advised not to mention █████ whenever █████ is mentioned the item expressed extreme discomfort and anger and will become increasingly unstable. SCP-3608 is currently stored in a standard Class-D cell with a reinforced door and hidden cameras.
List of Articles by Word Count, [[module listPages order="size desc" separate="no" perPage="5000" limit="5000" tags="scp"]] %%title_linked%% [[/module]], -19 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
tretter does not match any existing user name
This list works by counting the amount of characters that appear in the page source. 2521 has a bunch of image and div formatting.
As presented, this isn't particularly useful.
That said, it looks like the real purpose of the page is an attempt to answer, "How long is this article?" But that's not the real question. It's either "Can I just find a shorter article please?" or "What's it going to take to beat the largest article for length?" or maybe "Are articles really getting longer?" but who really knows why?
If we were going to have something like this, most likely it would be staff-written and controlled. "System" pages like this generally aren't handled by individual users (with exceptions such as Shaggy's tale-skip list)
SCP-3153 is a small Indian mahogany carved puzzle box of undetermined origins found in ████, Finland. It was originally 22cm, in length, 12cm in width, 14cm in height and weighted about 1.5kg. The exterior of the object is carved with floral designs strung together with string patterns. The design serves no purpose for the puzzle aside for decoration purposes, -16 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
I liked the note at the end, but the anomaly itself isn't terribly interesting and I don't buy that the Foundation would let people use an SCP for recreational purposes.
SCP-294 was written a decade ago. It's a nice piece of site history but I wouldn’t consider it a benchmark for current site standards.
An interesting one! I like how the box was making itself asymptotically less anomalous.
The requested tools don't feel convincing though. I'm not a carpenter, but I think the job would require something more like these:
SCP-3136 is a sentient mass of oil, 12' X 12', anything that comes into contact with SCP-3136 becomes SCP-3136-1, and will try to consume more, SCP-3136-1 and SCP-3136 can be dealt back with the use of Water Cannons, because of SCP-3136's reaction to this, this is only used on SCP-3136, SCP-3136 can absorb anything up to 2-3 times bigger than itself, -44 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
So many things are fundamentally wrong with this. Why is it 12 x 12 if its liquid oil? How does it kill people? Why state that water cannons are effective after stating it turns stuff into itself after touching it? SCPs are not just an object you write about they are stories in document form, and there is no story here.
solarsunburst does not match any existing user name
You are right, and I am sorry for being harsh. But you have to understand that for someone who is not from America, it can be extremely annoying to see Imperial measurements being used everywhere.
I use the metric system, and so do the inhabitants of almost every country that is not America, the UK or Malaysia. In my country, we are not even taught the Imperial system in school, simply because it is not relevant.
Most of Europe uses the metric system. Most of Asia uses the metric system. Most of Africa uses the metric system. Most of Latin America uses the metric system. Most of the world uses the metric system.
I just think that using Imperial units on a website like this is disrespectful to everyone who does not happen to be from America. Imagine Europeans had their own measurement system that nobody except for them uses. What would you think if European users kept using this system in their articles here, even though nobody except for them understands it? That would suck, right?
Well, that is what some people here are doing with the Imperial system.
Also, the Foundation is a fictional scientific organisation. Real scientific organisations, even if they are from America, always use the metric system. I see no reason why the Foundation would be different, especially considering that it is active all over the world.
If the former part of this little "rant" did not convince you, this might do.
it was very hard for me to conceptualize what a meter looks like
It's about a yard, 30cm is about a foot. Those can be "good enough" ballpark estimates for human-size SCPs and containment chaimbers intended for human-sized SCPs. When you start going bigger is when you need to worry about actual measured differences between meters and feet.
However, all measurements should be metric on the site, unless the SCP itself doesn't play well with metric (or the metric system itself is unavailable for whatever reason). Usage of metric is site convention, as it falls in-line with real-world scientific organizations, and the Foundation is itself, in-universe, a scientific organization.
Copy pasted from when you posted a draft in the wrong spot:
If I understand correctly, the basic idea is that it is mass of oil that changes things into other masses of oil?
I'm not quite sure, because the phrasing is very confusing, and it seems as though you didn't reread what you wrote to check if the sentence made sense.
I recommend you restructure your article to more clearly explain what SCP-3136 is, because right now your description is one big rambly sentence that is very confusing and honestly almost unreadable.
Your article also suffers from the problem of unnecessarily mentioning other SCPs which do not add that much to yours, and even takes away from it by comparing it to a similar but much better written SCP, it suffers from being to reliant on SCP-968 to be interesting.
I recommend removing mentions to SCPs in your containment procedures, and replacing it with just any SCP in general.
Overal this article has many problems, and needs a lot of work in on it's concept and writing.
There are a couple of questions I have on your article. First, why are SCP-968 and SCP-3761 the only things that your object is not allowed to interact with? I see the particularly hazardous outcomes that could be the result there, but from what I understand, SCPs aren't meant to be exposed to each other–especially not to ones that bear the risk of spreading anomalous properties. Furthermore, given its nature, wouldn't practically anything be dangerous if exposed? So, shouldn't the special containment procedures forbid anything from interacting with it?
Second, what are the rules to what it can and can't 'transform'? If it's in a standard containment cell, can it transform that? How about the ground it touches? Or the air itself? If that is the case, could the Foundation contain it by suspending it in a vaccum? Or submerging it in water?
Third, I think that this has a lot of potential if you think about where it came from. Maybe a failed attempt to solve an oil shortage? The result of toxic waste, maybe by the Foundation itself? Or could it be a bio weapon that got out of control?
SCP-3902 is a cosmic entity once prominent in the Late Miocene age. Interrogation of the cultists revealed that the entity had ruled over Earth around 7.25 million years ago. The earliest known human ancestors, the Graecopithecus freybergi, were believed to be devout worshippers and servants. Aside from fossil records, there has been no indication of any civilizations headed by these humanoids existing in that time period, -17 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
solarsunburst does not match any existing user name
I actually like this. The wording is a bit weird at some places, but overall this is an interesting idea.
This is the Cthulhu cult with the serial number filed off.